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December 11, 2006

Comments

Liam

"genetic lack of va-va-voom"

Hey, it's called honkiness, and there's nothing wrong with it. Look at Bowie: white soul *can* be cool

Fyodor

I would've put it down to the Deutschness, meself. Only one German dude can be cool, and that's Falco. Actually, he's Austrian, but close enough - those Krauts are all the bleedin' same.

Kate

I'm only half a Kraut. Anyway, there's lots of cool Germans. There's the dudes from Stereolab. There's Franke Potente. There's, um, the dog on Inspector Rex. There's my mum, she's pretty cool, though she's technically Australian.

Liam

Kommisar Rex is Austrian too, sorry Kate.
And I don't think I'll ever be able to watch that series again after I saw a documentary on SBS about Albert Speer, featuring the actor who played Detective Moser as Hitler, swanning about Berchtesgaden with a German Shepherd.
Creepy didn't even begin to describe it, I kept expecting the Fuhrer to start solving crimes.

Kate

I have never actually watched Inspector Rex, so I didn't realise it was Austrian and not German.

Yes I can see why that would be creepy.

Liam

Nena, now *she* was a German German, and very cool. With those luft-balloons of hers.

Fyodor

Stereolab: NO

Franka Potente: hawt, not cool

KOMMISSAR Rex, bitte: dog [that one should have been obvious, kids]

Kate's Mum: have to take your word for it, under protest

Nena: see Franka Potente. Actually the two of them together would be v. hawt...

Liam

You do have a point, though, Kate. There's an imaginary line drawn on the maps somewhere just to the East of the North Sea denoting the European limit of the backbeat in music.
Four-four time just isn't the same when it's KMFDM doing it (cool as they were).

Kate

I can't help but feel your categories for coolness and hotness are somewhat arbitrary, Mr F., and totally unrelated to my original concept of va-va-voom. Which I believe is quite unrelated to 'hotness'.


Kate

One day I'll write a comment which makes sense.

Liam

Now as German detectives go, Derrick had the voom, but not so much of the va-va. And certainly no hotness.

Kate

I'm saddened no-one wants to talk about Cow Cow.

Fyodor

"I can't help but feel your categories for coolness and hotness are somewhat arbitrary, Mr F."

Cool IS arbitrary, Kate. The moment you attempt to define it, it's gone.

"...and totally unrelated to my original concept of va-va-voom. Which I believe is quite unrelated to 'hotness'."

I think an essay on the issue is now required, Kate. C'mon, you know you've got one.

Kate

Okay. Cool (if we consider hipsters 'cool', or music 'cool', or Franco 'cool',) is quite different to sexiness aka hotness, which is something I tend to find highly overrated as it nearly always seems to refer to skinny white women with relatively big boobs.

And this is again quite different to va-va-voom, which seems to be again an inherently female quality but more your jazz singer curvy voluptuous sexual teasing type thing. More sexual agency? Who knows? It's all about women as sexualised objects anyway, but the thing I enjoy about the mix Dogpossum sent me is the 'take charge' attitude of the women. No passivity here. They want something, they get it, with lots of innuendo along the way.

So yeah.

Fyodor

Ah.

So "hotness" = sense of sexiness as defined by society; and

"Va-va-voom" = sense of sexiness as defined by Kate?

P.S. hipsters are not cool. Any person easily identifiable as a hipster is inherently uncool for trying too hard. Cool is most safely defined by what it isn't.

Kate

Oh just shut up Fyodor.

Kate

Sorry, that was ill-tempered of me. You don't have to shut up.

dogpossum

Glad you like it, dood.
I'll talk about Cow Cow. No, wait, it's worth repeating the lyrics to make the point:

I ain't no iceman,
I ain't no iceman's son
I ain't no iceman,
I ain't no iceman's son,
but I can keep you cool
until the iceman comes

I ain't no woodchopper,
I ain't not woodchopper's son,
I ain't no woodchopper,
I ain't not woodchopper's son,
but babe, I can chop your kindlin,
until the woodchopper comes.

Baby, I ain't no stoveman,
I ain' no stoveman's son,
Baby, I ain't no stoveman,
I ain' no stoveman's son,
but I can keep you heated up,
baby til the stoveman comes.

Baby, I ain't no butcher,
and I ain't no butcher's son,
I ain't no butcher,
I ain't no butcher's son,
But I can promise you plenty a meat,
baby til the butcher comes.

I ain't no milkman,
I ain't no milkman's son,
I ain't no milkman,
I ain't no milkman's son,
But I can promise you plenty a cream,
baby til that milkman comes.


When you listen to this stuff (especially people like Alberta Hunter - 80 year old lesbian), you realise it's all about attitude. If just work it like you ARE hawt, then you'll totally BE hawt.

And you have to love sentiments like 'I Feel Like Layin In Another Woman's Husband's Arms' - Blu Lu knows what she's talking about.

Kate

Thanks dogpossum. I love the lyrics for 'My Handy Man Ain't Handy No More' by Alberta Hunter especially.

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